the mind of spike
by vamprincess1986
Summary: set end of season 7, spike is taken prisoner inside his own mind following his death, contains spoilers
1. Default Chapter

As the sunlight pierced his skin, he felt the strength being drained from his body, yet his soul continued to fight, glowing, stinging. Held, locked in place, his face broke out in a smile. Buffy looked down on him, tears glinting in her eyes, maybe (he thought) she really meant it; maybe she could really love him. Despite the searing pain cursing throughout his body, he continued to smile. He'd decided if he was going out, it was like this, saving the world; he knew he was doing something really amazing, if not heroic. All he wanted now was the best for Buffy and her friends, and if this was the only was to make 'the best' a reality, then so be it!! As the scene around him slowly disintegrated and the pain ceased, he got the feeling of falling into a deep, dream filled sleep. Without the body, he was merely a memory, a memory amidst a mass of destruction and carnage. He closed his eyes as everything went white  
  
He hadn't really expected to wake up; he'd expected to be swirling around in an eternal vortex somewhere. But no, this was different, he didn't recognise this place, but it did have everything in it that had ever crossed his mind. Confused, he picked himself up off the floor and paced the room, secretly hoping that this was a dream. He called out into the light. Sunlight streaked through the window casting a patch on the floorboard at his feet, stepping forward he realized that, wherever he was, he certainly wasn't a vampire anymore.He was human!!! He pondered on this thought for what seemed like hours, how could he be human; he'd been a vampire for over 100 years, why would he become human now? Composing himself, he sat down on the edge of a bed and sighed heavily, where was Buffy? Where was sunnydale? He looked up out of the window; there was nothing out there, why? He said out loud. "Because these are the walls that separate your mind from the things that don't cross your mind". He jumped and looked frantically around the room "Whoever you are, you're gonna be dead in five minutes whether you show yourself or not" he said angrily, failing to sound calm. "Oh William calm yourself, you sound.effulgent", there was a long silence following this declaration as Spike tried to take in what he thought he'd just heard. "Cecily?" he questioned.  
  
"How'd you guess? A young woman stepped out from the corner of the room, smiling, "Do you want to know why I was in that corner", she asked, and without waiting for an answer continuing "You put me there, you stopped loving me and you ridiculous obsession with me died.in that, you pushed me into the back of your mind, forgetting to care". "Yes my spike" a second woman stepped out from the corner, "the fairies whispered to me, you loved the little slayer", Drusilla laughed her insane hum. "There are others you know". Spike stood stock still throughout this revelation, staring at the third woman to emerge from the corner, oh bollocks, he thought.  
  
"Yes spy-kii" she whined, "you took me for a ride, you pretended to love me, even. even after you realised that you loved the slayer". Her eyes were like daggers, she looked murderous, "then your precious Droodzilla came back, and you like. totally blew me off". "Harmony", spike sighed, she was just as bad as Drusilla, if not worse. "Why, why you"? "Because I'm in your mind, there was once a time, long, long ago, when you actually LOVED me, I'll always be in your mind, and you can't get rid of me just by pushing me into your subconscious". Spike dearly wished he could, he screwed up his face and began pounding on his head with his fist, as if it would get rid of her. Finally he gave up and defeated, looked up into the now empty room. "Well, what do you know, it worked" he said happily, there was a definite chirrup to his voice as he said it, he breathed a sigh of relief and allowed himself to fall back onto the bed. 


	2. chapter 2

A few hours later, he awoke pouring with sweat. Sighing, he pealed off his sweat drenched shirt and tossed it across the room. He tried to remember what he'd been dreaming about, he squeezed his eyes shut searching his mind, he mopped his face with the back of his hand, and finally, peering over the top of his hands with wide eyes, realisation hit him. It hadn't been a dream! He was still here wasn't he, and things seemed real enough. Absent mindedly he rolled to one side and fell of the side of the bed with a shriek. He stood up and composed himself once more, "Stay calm" he told himself "You'll think of a plan.and it WILL work". He wasn't so sure of his decision making anymore, his judgement had got him into this mess, thankfully, he was safe in the knowledge that he'd saved Sunnydale and that at least Buffy was alive.  
  
He sat back down on the edge of the bed, holding his stomach, he'd long forgotten the feeling of stomach ache, but since he was human again, he felt that there was more to come. He wished that it would stop, and as abruptly as it had started, it stopped. He lifted his head and raised his eyebrow. "Come on spike, surely you've worked it out NOW, you've been here long enough", he looked up, there was the first, in the form of himself smiling at him, he continued "you're in your mind, whatever you think of here, will happen". "Look, why are you here" Spike questioned him, "cos if your sole reason for attending is to tell me that I failed, get lost!!! He disappeared, and Spike breathed a sigh of relief. Quiet at last. 


	3. chapter 3

Finally he came to a decision, he needed to talk to Buffy, he needed to get out of his mind and he was currently wondering if, should he think about Sunnydale, it would appear. His mind paused on this thought for what seemed like hours, before getting up and crossing over to the window. He stood with the sun shining on his face and tried to imagine Sunnydale, as it had been, with it's houses and the High school and Buffy, staking vampires whilst looking for him. It happened almost instantly and he smiled.relief His excitement was short lived as he realised.. The room had no doors, now what!!!  
  
Please get some ideas to me quick smart, I'm terrible at thinking of ideas after a certain point, if you can think of any more to add, please continue as your own story referring readers here to read the beginning. 


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